The cry of yesterday

Inside of me there is a great sorrow. Like that one after a loss of something you hold dear or someone you love. The feeling reawakens at certain moments, however most often when I am alone and have the time to think. Feel. Remember. And it is when I remember that my heart feels heavy and my eyes wet. Tears run down my cheeks, some of them get caught in my beard while others drip into my lap.

The music I am listening to plays the right strings and tones. It makes me remember everything as clearly as if I was just experiencing these particular memories. And at exactly that moment, I truly feel what I have lost. What I am missing. What makes me sometimes feel lost but at the same time strong. It is you I am missing. Because of you my heart aches, my tears flow. Why I feel sad when I just want you here, to confide in, hold, watch, talk, laugh or cry with. Those things other takes for granted.

When you disappeared as suddenly as the light of a blown out candle, it felt as when a cheerful song end and you find yourself in a dark unknown place. All there is left is this empty silence which comes closer, filling you with a terrifying cry and horror, wishing you could bang your head against a rock-hard wall splitting your head open cause this would feel much less than the actual pain of losing you.

What is more. I am happy. The loss of you two have made me realize, life really is too short to do things you don’t want. Live in the presence, do your hearts bidding and love every day. Cause tomorrow it might be too late. And know that for each day that pass I love you even more.