Manufacturer
Canon
Model Name
Canon EOS 40D
Exposure Program
Aperture Priority
Exposure Time
1/200
F Number
5.6
ISO
400
Focal Length
187mm
Metering Mode
Pattern
Lately I have been thinking about kids and parents. All of us have different experiences. I have honestly disliked and have had problems handling kids. Just seen them as annoying and irritating, sometimes even bad tempered and horrible. And at other occasions seen them get ill treated.
The reason why I probably haven’t liked kids that much is because of my own life. They have reminded me of my childhood where I was afraid of going to school everyday. Everytime I see a kid treat another youth bad all I can see is red because I know the feeling of being pushed.
Lucky for me, just the last few years I’ve gotten to know some awesome kids. For instance my nieces. They are adorable and I miss them alot. That’s the hardest part about being in the other hemisphere, I miss them so much. It is a fact that they do grow centimeters and IQ everyday. And one day I want to take their photographies. Tell them stories, read to them and use all different kinds of voices. Just be there for them, because that’s what they deserve.
Unfortunately I only have good pictures of this little spillevink though I know my sister Petra have awesome pictures of hers and Niclas’ wonderful treasure.
I am so grateful of having the opportunity nowadays to associate the word “kids” with my nieces and others I’ve met, compared to before when all I could think of was the kids from school who chased me home, stole my things, called me names and tried to break my spine on a hand rail.
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Manufacturer
Canon
Model Name
Canon EOS 40D
Exposure Program
Manual
Exposure Time
1/160
F Number
6.3
ISO
100
Focal Length
17mm
Metering Mode
Pattern
It is my niece’s second birthday today so anyone who reads this can use the comments field to say happy birthday to her. 
The picture above is also a tribute to Nellie. Look at the license plate. She loves to scare people, especially me and Jenny. Walks up to us, hides her face behind her hands and pulls them quickly away screaming “boooh”. Another funny thing with the picture is the beautiful awesome Swedish Volvo.
Life is grand here in Australia. Today I sat at a café for four hours writing on several blog entries which I have not (obviously) posted but they ought to be finished in a few days with pictures and everything. However there are some recent news. Me and Jenny are leaving Melbourne tomorrow and we’re going to a place called Kancoona Valley, which is in the north eastern part of the state Victoria, same as Melbourne. We are to moving in with an Italian family to help them with their vineyard and some building extensions.
It is called wwoofing and it’s when you work approximately twenty hours a week at a farm or similar and in return you get free accommodation and food. This is a great way of experiencing life and find new interesting people, you can do it all across the world. Have a look at their vineyard and restaurant on www.kancoonavalleywines.com.au. Don’t know yet if they have Internet but we will know tomorrow. In that case I’ll write something dull or funny.
Some of you (aunt Vexy) will probably find it funny but in Kancoona… it is quite cold. One hour away from the vineyard lies a ski resort called Falls Creek Resort. We probably have to buy some warm clothes to wear in the following days.
Other news is that we are looking for a car. First plan was to buy a Beetle but they are quite expensive and a bit rare down under. Found a VW Type 3 which looked quite nice, so who knows? Also we have been looking on VW Campervans (Type 2 in Sweden or Bully in Germany) but they are also expensive. There might be an so called Holden Commodore that will end up as our possession. In Sweden, the brand is called Opel instead of Holden.
We are doing some laundry and I have to pack now but until next time, stay happy and enjoy life. And do not forget to write something to my niece in the comments field!
Lots of love
Ken
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Inside of me there is a great sorrow. Like that one after a loss of something you hold dear or someone you love. The feeling reawakens at certain moments, however most often when I am alone and have the time to think. Feel. Remember. And it is when I remember that my heart feels heavy and my eyes wet. Tears run down my cheeks, some of them get caught in my beard while others drip into my lap.
The music I am listening to plays the right strings and tones. It makes me remember everything as clearly as if I was just experiencing these particular memories. And at exactly that moment, I truly feel what I have lost. What I am missing. What makes me sometimes feel lost but at the same time strong. It is you I am missing. Because of you my heart aches, my tears flow. Why I feel sad when I just want you here, to confide in, hold, watch, talk, laugh or cry with. Those things other takes for granted.
When you disappeared as suddenly as the light of a blown out candle, it felt as when a cheerful song end and you find yourself in a dark unknown place. All there is left is this empty silence which comes closer, filling you with a terrifying cry and horror, wishing you could bang your head against a rock-hard wall splitting your head open cause this would feel much less than the actual pain of losing you.
What is more. I am happy. The loss of you two have made me realize, life really is too short to do things you don’t want. Live in the presence, do your hearts bidding and love every day. Cause tomorrow it might be too late. And know that for each day that pass I love you even more.
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Sunday, November 16, 2008 at 3:46pm Posted in personal
A year ago. Everything was so different.
The world was probably the same as today. My friends and family are still what they used to be. Rock solid and the greatest. But everything with me, was so different. You might haven’t noticed anything, so you ask yourself where this big change is?
Inside of me. I couldn’t be any more different than I was a year ago. Sometimes I looked into a mirror and saw something. These dead green eyes. My, dead green eyes. Without flare, without hope. My lips they just lied instantly. “Smile.”
My eyes never lie as long as you look clearly into them. They never have. They can tell you deep down whether I’m happy, sad, tired, angry, terrified, mischievous or thinking of something else. They can tell you if I love, hate or despise you. A year ago they were barely alive.
Today they can blaze with the fiercest light at injustice and in an instant my lips get tighter and my nails clenching into my palms. My breathing getting heavier, I can almost breathe fire.
Today I can take you into my arms, hold you so near me as no one ever been and just get filled up by you, your sweetness, love and feelings toward me and the universe. I can just close my now soaking eyes and smile.
A year ago I smiled in order to live. Today, I live in order to smile for just one more day.
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