hellocloud photography by Ken Lönnström » words

Go with the wind

Ken — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:22:53 +0000

Being caught in the moment
when the realization comes to you
that all you ever think and do
is what you have always done
is frightening and overwhelming

In that blink of an eye you feel
despair creep into your whole being
and the tears you before hid inside
will keep falling even when they dry up
as you try to understand what happened

To what place did the time disappear?

How could it pass in front of your eyes
at the same time as you were working
doing the laundry, buying a new stereo
and dreaming about everything
you wanted to do since you were five

Was this all life was about?

I know how being enlightened feels
though I no longer feel the despair
instead I am filled with love and curiosity
and driven by a hunger for more
of the excitement life has to offer

When you realise you live a life not desired
you are only one step, only one thought
away from your dream which you can live in
as long as you want and feel that life
is worth living instead of just watching

Be true to yourself and for once
fly the whole way up to the clouds
which is to be honest, not that far

I promise you that they are soft
though quite moist so bring a wetsuit
or one extra pair of clothing and gumboots

The view is spectacular.

The Wheel of Progress

Ken — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:17:00 +0000

On rare occasions I have dreams that I actually remember. Most often they involve my past, what I’ve been through and they try to teach me things. At some instances when I’ve had problems or questions I’ve been pondering, they have been resolved not by me directly. They have been resolved by dreams. Sometimes when dreaming it is just like I’m an actor, playing a roll I can’t really change and experience things all over again, sometimes for years until they make sense. Do you recognize that sort of dreams?

On a different subject. Every day I think of you, my family and friends, wishing you were here to experience all these exciting things alongside me. It is a unique type of life I have experienced these last two years. Sometimes I get amazed myself when thinking about how far I’ve come and in that sense not only in distance. Personal development. Something all of us crave for every once in a while, to feel that we are getting somewhere. Not wasting the years, so that in the end you cannot remember which year you did what since they were all the same.

What I wanted to say is that I think of my family and friends every single day. Among those I count persons I’ve only met once that I still keep close to my heart. I promise never to stop striving for a life more suitable for me and wish you to promise the same thing to yourself. And not only promise, you have to mean it as well. Lets develop and expand and experience ourselves in all the ways possible for as long as we live. Come on, I dare you to live a unique life.

Path to somewhere

Ken — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:43:10 +0000

A year ago has passed since this picture was taken at one of the most sunny days I had in Melbourne. It’s an alley way near Swanston and Bourke Street. Remember how I was strolling around alone, just observing people and buildings, looking for life when I stumbled upon this alley.

Found this picture today in my archive, hidden for so many months and its meaning is so clear to me now. To me it resembles different stages of our lives, or the different choices we make every day. How we can change the way we live only by our choices, minds. In order to live the life we want, that we dream of and at times really need!

How one got to fight in order to get to our very own and personal paradise. Sometimes we walk through shattered glass, naked with our bare feet bleeding, just to look back and realize how far one have come and from this place one can see a bit of the paradise. Your own and personal paradise.

While I was waiting

Ken — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:02:28 +0000

For an hour now I’ve been trying to come up with something poetic regarding the emotions from this picture. Although I have some ideas that I have even written down, none of them seem to fit perfectly. There was a time, around five-six years ago that I could have drawn up a whole world in a matter of minutes. The words, my emotions, they wanted to leave my senses, my heart and soul to get written – in an instant. They were so fast not even my fingers would catch up with them. Except for these occasions when the phone rang, then I could write down what I had in my mind at the same time as I talked.

What I wanted to say in poetry, now just have to be acceptable with my words. That is, while I was waiting for my passion for writing to return, I think it got even more lost. Since it disappeared a few years ago I’ve sat down a few times and been waiting for the right moment to write. It never really came and so I’ve been sitting here with my pen and paper waiting… when what I should have done is to just write! Exercise my mind, go for it, both wild and crazy! Just close my eyes and write whatever comes out although it might be utter rubbish. I would still be writing down some part of my soul even if it at this stage came from the surface of my soul.

Despite the fact I’ve always been interested in photography, it has become more and more profound with these last years and mostly with this last year. It’s a way for me to function with the necessary creativity which is bound in all of us. You yourself might not paint, play music or write poems. I can however guarantee that if you are truly happy, you probably express yourself in some sort of creative way. There are so many ways. One big example people might not think of is cooking. Cooking is art. So is being a great listener. Understanding people, as well as writing poetry or any other of the classic things. Designing a computer game or a new application. That is art. So is enjoying life. Some are born with a natural instinct of seeing the beautiful in life, while others have to try hard. We are all different. We are all better at certain things.

The trick if you want to accomplish something, is to practice every day. Try. Learn. Open your mind. Change your views. Instead of pulling the shower curtain to the left or the right, as you always do, try pulling it the other way. Instead of left, take it to the right. You’ll notice an immediate change in just by changing small things. Then you feel it is a new day and with that comes new opportunities because you are broadening your mind. And if you really want to be better at something, then practice. Practice every single day. Practice as much as you want. That is something I’ve unfortunately been very bad at when it comes to gaining new writing skills. Instead of trying and practicing, I have been waiting for the right moment when I should’ve just grabbed the moment myself by the neck.

If you only wait for new opportunities instead of creating them, then you’ll be in for a long wait. In the end you might be on the brink of dying. And life is just too beautiful for dying. At least if you are only waiting. It’s much more pleasant to die when you live, in some macabre and poetic way.

A place where you can breath

Ken — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 07:20:27 +0000

From the steep hills
covered in the greenest grass
onto steep hills
covered in the whitest snow
and the dark blue sky

Our feet rested on ice
we gazed out, farther away
than the mountains root
and before our feet slipped
we understood how small we are

To breath the mountains air
was something new and exciting
just wanted to climb higher
reach a new height until we could
and would reach the top

Ananenara se fallas

Ken — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:36:54 +0000

Tonight is one of those nights. One of those that turn your breath into mist. One of those lovely nights filled with silent contemplation. Understanding. And at the same time not, since you have more questions than ever. Questions none but you can comprehend nor answer. This is a special night, surrounded by an overwhelming sensation of something out of the extraordinary. Tonight, is one of those nights where it seems like your life is painted only with stars on the non-existing roof of the Earth. Where every breath you take seem to move the world. Or better put, the world take deep breaths with you. Good night world… And good morning!

Never leave home without it

Ken — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:44:55 +0000

You never know when you need it.

The cry of yesterday

Ken — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 09:34:42 +0000

Inside of me there is a great sorrow. Like that one after a loss of something you hold dear or someone you love. The feeling reawakens at certain moments, however most often when I am alone and have the time to think. Feel. Remember. And it is when I remember that my heart feels heavy and my eyes wet. Tears run down my cheeks, some of them get caught in my beard while others drip into my lap.

The music I am listening to plays the right strings and tones. It makes me remember everything as clearly as if I was just experiencing these particular memories. And at exactly that moment, I truly feel what I have lost. What I am missing. What makes me sometimes feel lost but at the same time strong. It is you I am missing. Because of you my heart aches, my tears flow. Why I feel sad when I just want you here, to confide in, hold, watch, talk, laugh or cry with. Those things other takes for granted.

When you disappeared as suddenly as the light of a blown out candle, it felt as when a cheerful song end and you find yourself in a dark unknown place. All there is left is this empty silence which comes closer, filling you with a terrifying cry and horror, wishing you could bang your head against a rock-hard wall splitting your head open cause this would feel much less than the actual pain of losing you.

What is more. I am happy. The loss of you two have made me realize, life really is too short to do things you don’t want. Live in the presence, do your hearts bidding and love every day. Cause tomorrow it might be too late. And know that for each day that pass I love you even more.

En stilla tankefull kväll

Ken — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 08:42:50 +0000

Klicka på play.

Lyssna på melodin som nu ringer i dina öron. Hör stämningen, känn efter med hela din kropp men bli för all del inte ledsen eller melankolisk. Visst, melodin kan betyda många saker men nu ikväll, denna kväll, ska du lyssna på den och det du hör är mystik, spänning och en gåva om att inte känna till morgondagen. Den bringar hopp om att livet inte enbart behöver vara ett slentrianmässigt stadie. Utan livet är det vackraste vi har. Det mest värdefulla och det blir verkligen inte mer än vad vi gör det till.

Föreställ dig följande. Dagen har bara för några timmar sedan släckts och nu finns inga spår efter en ny morgon. Luften är varm men du svettas inte, luften är samtidigt svalkande när du andas in – och ut.. Du blundar och tar djupa andetag. Bakom dina ögonlock ser du nånting vackert, du ser en person, en händelse som betytt mycket för dig och människor du saknar. Plötsligt fylls du utav känslor du inte riktigt kan förstå, de är så många på en gång. Men du känner igen en tomhet, sorg, en förlust. En tår rinner från dina nu fuktiga bildtolkar.

I nästa djupa andetag kan du känna hur din puls lugnar ned sig, dina axlar sjunker och du behöver inte längre tänka på att hålla dina ögonlock stängda, de är det iallafall. Du slappnar av och plötsligt känner du igen en till känsla – det är glädjen som sprudlar inom dig även om du ibland håller den gömd för dig själv. Tankar flödar nu fritt och du är inte längre ensam på det mörka stället under den stjärnlösa himlen i en storstad.

Du är på ett av dina favoritställen i världen, en strand, en restaurang, i ditt eller ert hem, kanske till och med i din kärleks famn? Din sorg blandas med den ofattbara glädjen du känner inom dig. Nästa tår faller inte på grund av sorg, utan av lycka. Du är så lycklig. Kanske inte alltid men innerst inne även om du ofta känner dig trasig som en oälskad porslinsdocka. Hitta lyckan, känn den. Föreställ dig vad som gör dig lycklig och varför du förtjänar att få le var dag du har kvar att leva.

Koppla lyckan till en bild, en sång eller ett citat. Skapa dig en genväg till lyckan. Om du känner dig ledsen vissa dagar så kan du lätt hitta tillbaka till den. Låt dig uppfyllas med varje andetag av den här kittlande känslan, låt den hitta sin väg till varje kroppsdel så du nästan får svårt att hålla dig för skratt. Fokusera på din genväg till lyckan.

Öppna nu ögonen. Jag sitter precis bredvid dig och ler mitt stora leende. Har kollat på dig under hela tiden du haft dina ögon slutna. Faktum är att du är aldrig ensam även om du tror det. Försök minnas genvägen till din helt egna lycka.

Kom ihåg att skratta när du är glad eller känner dig sprallig. Det är bara din kropp, själ och livet som påminner dig om varför vi lever. För att få vara glada och lyckliga.

Shattered glass and a lost heartbeat

Ken — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 02:09:14 +0000

Press play and when the music starts begin to read

Sitting at the dinner table
A burger and chips ready
Laughing friends around me
Everything is as it should be
But just can’t stop thinking of you

Your life is not as it ought to be
It have followed you a long distance
Now it’s just right behind you
And I know what you are afraid of
Losing yourself in everything

Like a forgotten heartbeat or
When you take one too many steps in the stairs
It feels strange, you feel different
Or like that you are falling
But you have nothing to worry about

If you fall, know that I’ll be there
I will catch you in my arms
Might cry and not make my happy face
But I am strong and I’ll carry you home
Or to a place that feels safe

There are times when we all feel broken
Like shattered glass spread all over
Overrun by everyone and everything
We all get worn, dirty, used
No, none of us is like new

But tomorrow is a new day
It’s time for all the things that didn’t happen today
Tomorrow always gives us a new chance
To do what feels good and right
No worries my dear friend, everything will be alright

Text and Photo by Me
Music by Christopher O’Riley (Radiohead cover)